Search for Happiness

I know it has been a long time since I have posted. What better time to start again than the New Year?

This Winter Break was one of self-assessment, as I am continuously on my Quest for Hope. Even though I have not had time to write about it, it does not mean I quit my search. Indeed, I would say my pursuit has only strengthened and become more focused. I am still searching for the underlying hope that serves as my motivation. Typical words and phrases came up during my brainstorm: serving others, doing good in this world, being successful at what I do, making money, etc. But then I asked myself: why? With some stimulating discussions with my sister, I finally came up with the fact that it is all for the "pursuit of happiness."

My decision over break is that if my ultimate goal is to achieve happiness, why not reach that accomplishment every day? Some who read that may think inaccurately that I mean to indulge in hedonism. However, I believe the world of instant gratification that we live in (of internet and TV, of sex and alcohol, of beauty and materialism) is not the true answer to achieving happiness. At least I do not think it works for me. Thus, I would like to make my Resolution for the New Year to achieve happiness every day. So what does give me happiness? I thought the following quote was one I would like to try out:

“Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony.”
-Thomas Merton

When I think back on the times that truly made me happy, it was when I was the most balanced, the most orderly, and the most in sync with nature and life. It was when I was the most successful because I was in tune with my academics and my personal life. I tried to enjoy each aspect of what I was doing, truly savoring it and seeing what I could learn. I looked at each sliver of an obstacle as a challenge that I could beat, a series of test that I could pass (think in positives rather than negatives!).

In my Quest for Hope for this New Year, my Resolutions (or my list of "to-be-betters") encompass these 4 aspects as an experiment:
1. Balance
2. Order
3. Rhythm and
4. Harmony

At the end of the year, I would like to look back and see whether I felt these ideas and goals made a difference in my year and allowed me to achieve better success and ultimately: Happiness.

1. Balance: I look to achieve this through a balance of academic and personal life. In the past, I put an inordinate amount of time, energy and thought to my academic life. I hope to make academic life more an enjoyment rather than a burden as well as keeping a personal life. This balancing act will consist of maintaining fruitful and healthy relationships with others (through consistent contact rather than intensive hang outs), a healthy mind and body (through doing 1 happy thing a day and exercising at least 3x a week), and not striving for perfection in every aspect of academics (through sticking to my schedule and thus having a stopping point).

2. Order: Structure I have found is important to my happiness. Thus, I want to maintain an organized life-style through schedules on Google Calendars, alerts through my phone, and keeping my room and school work clean and orderly. Disorder comes from procrastination. Thus, sticking to a schedule is paramount for me and that must result from making realistic goals.

3. Rhythm: Finding my rhythm is a trial and error experiment as well. Consistency in each day will provide that rhythm. Therefore I will work on keeping each week as constant as I can. Does this mean that I leave out spontaneity and fun? No. I believe rhythm includes flexibility. In the past, inflexibility has proven detrimental to happiness. With any drastic change or uncertain circumstance, anxiety has been a key emotion. However what I hope to work on with rhythm is to keep hiccups from affecting my rhythmic pulse. Even if plans alter, and things get in the way, I will strive to maintain flexibility by adjusting my plans accordingly and making those plans realistic. Despite this comment on flexibility, finding a schedule has always been a successful way to maintain balance and order. In keeping with rhythm and schedules, I will try to post every Saturday. However, I will not post if I have a paper or exam that week. We shall see if I can keep up with that!

4. Harmony: What I said above runs into the idea of harmony. Stress is a large hinderance for the pursuit of happiness. Therefore I will do 3 physical things to keep stress levels as low as possible. You can try it too!
1) Meditate for 3 minutes each day. How? Set an alarm for 3 minutes. Close my eyes while sitting Indian style. Let my brain be completely blank and think about nothing. (It is harder than it sounds!) If I find myself straying away with thoughts, I mentally focus back again on "nothing" by saying over and over "Aieem." A teacher in meditation taught me that. Does it work? It might! We shall see...
2) Exercise at least 3x a week, doing 30 minutes of cardio, 15 minutes of weights, and 15 minutes of abs.
3) Count to 10 with slow deep breaths to calm myself if something stressful arises

We shall see how this works! I will keep updated on my experimental progress. Hope that was insightful for you too.